Toby, Eleanor and Callista qualify for Synagis, a 5-dose series of injections containing antibodies that protect high-risk patients from contracting RSV. Their gestational ages and lung complications at birth, their time spent on ventilators, CPAP and oxygen and their family history all lend a hand in qualifying them for this important medication.

They went in for their first dose at the beginning of the month. A few days later, our pediatrician called to say they had been given a tiny fraction of the dose by mistake. Because it’s a biohazard, the vials were thrown out once they were punctured, so our dilemma became getting them replacement doses.

We couldn’t request the next scheduled dose be sent out sooner and worry about how to pay for the replacement dose later because of protocol with the distributor. In order for them to receive a dose this month, someone needed to pay up front.

And it wasn’t going to be me.

When you spend four days’ worth of naptimes on the phone trying to simultaneously reason with people and not bash your head into the wall, Twitter is a saving grace. Here’s the play by play from my Twitter feed.

Day one:

• Thank God the mistake didn’t go the other direction, but only getting 1/10th of a vaccination is pretty worthless.
• Sorry – tweeting while making lunch. Nurse only gave babies 1/10 of their Synagis dose by mistake. Vials were tossed.
• Pedi is trying to get ins to send more to cover the dose for this month. We all know how generous ins companies are …

• If I have to cancel their motherfucking birthday party because a motherfucking nurse messed up, I am going to LOSE MY EVERLOVING SHIT.
• BIG SURIPRISE, the pharm co “isn’t willing” to replace the Synagis dose the nurse misdrew.
• Pedi’s proposal? Pay OOP ($1600/kid) or skip this (birthday party) month.
• My proposal? The practice pays for it, or we get the following 4 doses elsewhere. COCKBALLSMONKEYSHIT.
• Pedi said she’d ask her office manager. I hope she tells her office manager to fix this before they lose preemie triplet patients aka $$$$.
• No, it isn’t good enough to only reimburse our copay and not bill insurance for the 1/10 WORTHLESS vaccination.
• Pedi said she should call back today. Tick tock, motherfucker.
• On hold for office manager now. I’m not waiting another day.
• Not one, THREE nurses checked the wrong dose.
• THREEEEEEEEEEE.
• Fucking worthless clinical (not office) manager*. “I’ll have to talk with some people & get back to you tomorrow. Is tha OK?” *I actually was speaking with the practice manager. The woman who transferred my call told me she was the clinical manager.
• I GUESS IT NEEDS TO BE.
• I’m pacing and shaking. I love this practice. WHY are they ruining things?

• Still waiting to see if pedi calls back (she was waiting to talk with office manager).
• How it happened: Nurse grabbed too-small syringes, filled to line that read 1. Was 1/10 of needed dose.
• Three incorrect doses for three babies. Zero people readily willing to fix the mistake. Sorry. They are, they just aren’t sure if they can.
• HORSE SHIT.
• Fast, furious, angry tweets. This is what happens when rage sets in during naptime.
• You bet your ass my local #NICU friends will hear about this. They send a lot of biz to this peds practice.

• Latest in Synagis clusterfuck: No word on getting the replacement dose paid for, trying to get the next dose pushed up for my kids’ sake
• Apparently the issue is red tape on the way to approval for paying for/ordering a replacement dose.
• Calling my insurance now.
• Some good news: We can switch peds offices & still receive the remaining covered doses. Gotta contemplate.
• Talked with Synagis, now talking with distributor. hmkvithy8tfiyu
• This is rifuckingdiculous.
• Hello, brick wall. Howyadoin?
• Surprise, surprise. Money talks. I propose paying OOP to the distributor, they say they could have the dose ready by Tuesday.
• INTERESTING, considering the practice manager said, if they paid, it’d be here no sooner than our next scheduled (paid-for) dose – Dec 5.
• These balls I’m holding feel mighty squishy.
• Talked with our fav #nicu nurse. She’s contacting folks, gave me add’l ideas. Next up is neonatologist & developmentalist.
• Our developmentalist was the pediatrician who started the practice we see. Boom, motherfuckers.
• If I don’t hear “yes, we’ll order a replacement dose,” by tomorrow, I’m contacting the news, local @marchofdimes, BBB, WHOEVER.
• Happy Prematurity Awareness Month, asshole pediatrician practice. You’re about to see how strong we #preemie parents are.
• Regardless, we’re switching peds. I’m DISGUSTED.
• & my pediatrician should have never suggested skipping a dose as the solution.
• Annnnd I just sent a message to one of the local #NICU’s neonatologists. Mama Bear says GRRRRR.

• I’m on hold for the doctor who started the practice. He’s the babies’ developmentalist, so he knows us.
• I hate this. I am a passive person. I hate confrontation. I’m only doing this for my kids, who deserve more than they’re getting.
• he called the practice mgr then called a higher up to push the money to get the shots paid for. Not quite fixed but closer.
• The gloves came off, the claws came out, & I’m fairly certain I just made the practice manager cry.
• “You’ve probably seen that my kids’ records say I’m unemployed. What they don’t say is I’m an unemployed JOURNALIST.” #ExcerptsFromMyRant
• “I haven’t spent a year keeping them healthy to have a mistake by NURSES send them back to the hospital or worse.” #ExcerptsFromMyRant
• “You’re telling me, that as the practice manager of a large pediatric group, that you don’t have access to $6k to correct a mistake? …”
• “My MIL is a practice manager. I know she’d easily have access to that money.” “Maybe your MIL can tell me how to get it.” …
• “So, you want my MIL to tell you how to do your job?” #ExcertsFromMyRant
• & paraphrasing here: I’m pretty sure the Hippocratic Oath doesn’t comply with “Pay out of pocket or skip this dose.” #ExcerptsFromMyRant
• “We aren’t talking about 1 patient. We’re talking about 3. This is gross medical negligence. If they contract RSV while left unprotected …
• “That 3 medical malpractice lawsuits.” #ExcerptsFromMyRant
• “I’m disgusted with this practice. Worse, I’m disgusted in the part I’ve played by choosing your practice to care for my children.”
• And now I need to pump. You know, just part of everything I’ve done in the last year to keep my #preemies as healthy as possible.
• UNLIKE THEIR DOCTORS.
• BOO FUCKING YA.
• I’m leaving now to meet the practice mgr at the office. She has the meds in her hand, paid for by the practice.
• Call me Freeze Miser because I was cold as ice this afternoon.
• Practice manager hung around me, trying to make small talk & say how cute my kids are. Me? Stink eye, bless-your-heart smirk.
• I gave my cc to get our copay credited, requested & filled out the medical record release forms & checked the doses myself.
• Still to do: File a complaint with the hospital system, update #NICU docs.