Tobias, Eleanor and Callista are now a day over three weeks old. Really? I thought being in the NICU would make time creep, but it really hasn’t. I can’t believe our sweet trio are just eight days from celebrating their one-month birthday.
Invitations are in the mail. The cake has been ordered. A clown is on standby. It’s going to be the bash of the century.
I kid, I kid. I don’t have time for that ish!
We all had a fabulous last week. All three babies showed major improvements with their breathing and general lung function, thanks in part to those devilish bubble CPAPs. As of yesterday, all three are now back on high-flow canulae (those simple, in-nose oxygen pieces). The girls have been without their CPAPs for a couple days, so they were bumped down a bit on their oxygen pressure yesterday, from 4L to 3L. All three are on room air!
Another room-air celebration came a few days ago, when the night nurse announced that it was time to start letting the babies try to regulate their own body temperatures. They’re all in pajamas now, and the nurses are slowly bumping down the beds’ temperatures. They started around 32 degrees Celsius and need to get down to 27 degrees before they can come out of their isolettes and hang out in open-air beds. Callista got her bed down to 29 point something last night!
Our big babies are doing so wonderfully. Callista is super close to reaching 3 pounds. Last night, she was only 10 grams away from 2 lbs. 15 oz. She’s going to hit 3 super soon! Toby yesterday was at 2 lbs. 14 oz., but he may have a setback due to his feeds being stopped to allow the blood transfusion he needed yesterday (his red blood cell count was too low for comfort). Eleanor is trying her hardest to catch up, and she’s hovering around 2 lbs. 8 or 9 oz. over the last two days.
Being in the NICU is hard. There’s a lot of mental balancing and rechecking of the traditional newborn experience, and with that comes a constant need to practice grace and mercy. It’s difficult to feel like others are treating our situation as a 24-hour babysitting service. Some people seem to expect us to be relaxed and enjoy as much free time away from the babies as possible.
It might feel different once we cross the threshold into post-NICU life and are desperate for a few moments of quiet alone time, but right now, being told to get away from my babies is like a slap in the face. I am away from them enough thanks to the miles that separate us and the fact that I can’t be in the NICU 24 hours a day. Many parents don’t leave their babies until they’re several months old, and it can be years before they spend the night away from them. I walked away from mine at 4 days old, and I’ve never slept a night just within feet of them.
What people don’t understand about the difficulty in that is beyond me.
And those who like to tell me (us? not sure if Rob hears it, too) that I need to just be thankful for what we have? They can kindly fuck off. If you don’t think I know how fortunate we are, if I don’t understand all that has been and all that still is at stake, then you have zero business directing any words toward me. I was there for the NICU consultation at 25 weeks, 3 days gestation. I disconnected my emotional wires their entire first day and lived only on fact.
I’m thankful for each and every breath, but if I want to grieve the difference between what I expected my whole life and what I’m experiencing now – well, I think I’m entitled to that now and then. There’s no time for it to consume my thoughts, but those thoughts have every right to creep in and attack sometimes. What’s important is that our actual experiences take over the ones history has set as expectations.
Each memory we make is infinitely greater than any expectation I’ve ever had.
Gah. I didn’t mean to get all ranty, but I guess it needed to come out.
Let’s turn this happy again, shall we?
The chickadee who did Eleanor’s echocardiogram (nothing for concern) yesterday told me I don’t look at all like I gave birth to triplets three weeks ago. I almost kissed her.
I look fluffy and have joked with Rob that I want to wear a shirt that says, “I’M NOT FAT – I JUST GAVE BIRTH TO TRIPLETS. YOU THINK I’M SKINNY NOW, DON’T YOU?”
I’m half serious. Especially during times in which my meals are on display (holy appetite while providing breastmilk for three, batman).
What do you think?
taken at 27 weeks, 6 days pregnant – just two days before giving birth
taken yesterday, 3 weeks after giving birth
Fluffy, but not terrible, right? Especially when you consider that my uterus is still giant-sized thanks to my trio. It’ll go down eventually. Or so they tell me.
Ahhh, I have no appropriate segue and am running out of blogging time, so here goes a transition fit for people with short attention spans. Look! Something shiny!
Not shiny, really, but definitely cute: Babies in jammies! (17 days old, the trio’s first clothes)
Toby
Eleanor
Callista
And the pièce de résistance, Rob and I got to hold the babies in our arms, standing up, snuggled in blankets – just like regular parents – during the Sunday night bath routine.
It was AMAZING to get real face-to-face, not-through-a-plastic-box time. We both hold the babies for skin-to-skin (kangaroo care) sessions, but the babies are always snuggled into our chests, not really ever in a position for us to stare and enjoy.
Amazing really doesn’t cover how it felt.
Mommy and Toby (and portable oxygen tube thing since his bubble CPAP was removed for the bath)
Mommy and Eleanor (on high flow! no more CPAP!)
Daddy and Callista
On that note, I’m off to vacuum, dust, do some laundry and head up to the hospital. Maybe not quite in that order, but one can hope for plans to play out, right?
As always, thank you for the continued thoughts, well wishes and prayers!
You are amazing. You are strong & brave & gorgeous & barely even “fluffy” considering you just spat out 3 human beings.
& if you want to go apeshit on someone, I will be there to back you up.
& your children are beautiful. I love them.
you look amazing!! Your trio and you two are always in my thoughts. Your babies are incredible & you are doing an amazing job. I cant imagine the stress of babies in the NICU – hugs to you and your gorgeous babies!!
Just amazing Jenny! You and Rob are pillars of strength.
You have three amazing blessings!
I can’t imagine what you are going through, and just remember, I am here for you if you need anything at all!
All of your babies are absolutely gorgeous! And so are you, momma! Your fluff WILL continue to go down & you don’t look like you just had 3 babies living in your ute 3 weeks ago
Happy 3-week birthday, babies! Keep growing!
Honestly Jenny? I think you are handling NICU for your trio incredibly well. You are realistic, hopeful, and allowing yourself to feel. It’s important to grieve the loss of expectations! Seriously! Grieve what might have been, and then allow yourself to love what you have. I know you are doing that.
That is so precious. You look awesome and you are so strong. The babies are beautiful.
You are amazing!! Those beautiful babies are amazing!!! Sending you good vibes. I love all your updates. And? I totally wanted that shirt too. You are beautiful mama!!
amazingly well spoken, as always!
love you and how large your heart is and how small your waist has already gotten!
you’re on my mind and in my heart all the time!
Oh! Itty bitty babies in itty bitty pajamas! They are just too sweet. And you look great for having three-week-old triplets!
Found your blog from Heir to Blair. Congratulations on your bundles of joy
You look awesome for just having triplets! When I saw you in Target last week, I thought the same thing!!
Love love the new pictures!!!
Those babies of yours are so beautiful!!! I am so so so happy that even though there may be the occasional set back the babies are doing well and growing and thriving!!!
Also? I’ll cut a non-understanding bitch. You are doing so great with everything! Screw some people and their tactless asses.
And? Seriously? You look damn good woman! Totally not what I think most women look like 3 wks pp with trips (he’ll I bet there are singleton mamas that are jealous!)
oh, they’re just gorgeous. and you look fantastic. i’m still waiting for my uterus to shrink to normal size. or my tummy. dang.
you are, & look, amazing. fork anyone who can’t fathom just how hard it must be for you to leave your precious LOs in NICU day after day.
i can appreciate your thoughts on expectations v reality, and the need to mourn those expectations at first, as I have had similar convos with my hb thru this IF & now pregnancy journey.
Much love & strength & good thoughts to you, Rob & the babies.
You look amazing! You are amazing and strong!
You are all in our continued thoughts and prayers!
You look beautiful. And whatever “fluff” you have? Well, it’s the best fluff ever. You are amazing and strong and I admire you so much. You handle yourself with a grace and dignity that the rest of us can only aspire to. Your babies are gorgeous precious beings. And yes, things didn’t happen the way you expected. Things happened perfectly. And anyone who says you should be thankful? Well, I will cut them.
Unbelieveable. The one where Eleanor is looking at you? Slays me. I mean they’re all gorgeous but that one… woah.
You look phenomenal.
People can go fuck themselves for serious. That’s ridiculous.
Holy shit your kids have jammies! Your KIDS(!!!) have JAMMIES(!!!!!)
Oh, I can’t even imagine saying stuff like that to a mom that has three sweet babies in the NICU. I think you should write a guide on “What not to say to NICU parents.” What do you think? Because some people are just clueless.
On a happier note . . . yay for holding babies standing up and staring at them! So squeezable
You look rockin’ for 3 weeks post-partum, you triplet mama!!!! I think you have plenty of reason to mourn your expectations, while still knowing how fortunate you are. Some people are douchebags and just like to rain on everyone’s parade. It is perfectly normal to feel however you need to feel. I think you are doing an amazing job!
You look amazing, and I admire your strength and honesty. I can’t imagine what you’re going through and I can’t believe people have the balls to say stuff like that to you.
The babies are adorable. You’re doing great!
what person is saying those things to you?! Goodness, as soon as I opened the post and you said its been three weeks my thought was oh Those dear people probably havent had a chance to just relax in three weeks. The way you must be feeling, I cant even imagine.
Im so glad your little trio is plugging along so strongly.
You look awesome! Seriously awesome! And you are totally entitled to grieve the loss of the “normal” newborn experience. There’s no getting around the fact that being in the NICU sucks. Having someone tell you when and how you can have physical contact with your baby is certainly not what every mother dreams about. You’re doing a great job, don’t forget that!
Look at those sweet, tiny, precious, beautiful little babies!!! Jenny, you look amazing and it is SO great to see you smile so proudly with your babies! Please know that I am constantly thinking about you, Rob and the trio and will continue to send my thoughts and prayers that they keep doing so so well!! Love you girl!
you look terrific! and the babies look terrific! thank you for sharing your story with us. you make me cry/smile with every update.
now, where can i find a pair of footie pajamas with monkey feet (monkey feet!) is adult sizes!?
hang in there – ignore the ignorant.
They’ve grown so much! And look so cute in those lil footed jammies! So happy yall’ve gotten some good snuggles in recently. You look awesome!!!!
Man, I need to remember to keep tissue close by for these posts. Sniff. The photos of you guys holding your little babes totally has me tearing up. I’m so glad to hear they are doing well. Love those footed jammies, too!
Lastly, I don’t understand why folks don’t get why you don’t want to leave them alone anymore than you have to. Sorry, but that is kind of asshat behavior and I really hope those folks “get it” soon. {{hugs}}
You look AWESOME! I love that you got to snuggle the babies in your arms like that. Makes me so happy! They are so adorable. I love them. And you of course.
You are doing an amazing job and don’t let anyone talk shit. I can beat their asses for you any time.
I love reading your story. You’re an amazing individual and you have such BEAUTIFUL children. And girl you DO look awesome! Despite the fact that you had tripplets! (I always hate the qualifier that you look good “for having a baby”… can’t i just look good, or if i didn’t have a baby i wouldn’t look so good?…. with that said… YOU LOOK GOOD!).
Your family is in our prayers and i’m so happy to hear how well they are doing!
Look at those babies checking you out. You look like you’re in heaven! Good for your for venting…people can be so insensitive.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR PICS!!!
I think about you often Jenny and all the Nesties are pulling for you!
Love and Hugs to all five of you!
You look fabulous! I’m sure there are women who are a year out from giving birth grumbling under their breath, “skinny biotch.”
The look on your little Eleanor’s face made me all teary-eyed! she’s looking up at you with such love and trust. I could look at that picture all day long. Your children are beautiful.
And I think most of us know that you’d trade all the sleep (and ever-so-relaxing “down time”) in the world just to have your three sweet babies home safe and sound. (and so would we in your shoes) Don’t let the morons get you down.
Aww!! I got all misty! Y’all are doing so well! And you look fantastic for 3 weeks post-partum after carrying triplets! The babies are gorgeous, and look so precious in their new jammies! Keep up the good work, ETC, and you hang in there, Jenny! We’ve all got your back
Happy three weeks babies! You look great, and the jammies are adorable! Continued good thoughts and prayers being sent your way!
First of all… You look AMAZING! After only 3 weeks?! Gorgeous.
I am in awe of your strength, all of the time. Kudos to you for being able to handle those comments so well.
I’m so thankful for your updates and I’m praying for you and those babies every day. I’ve shown pics to my sister an my husband and my bff… I am also thankful for their progress.
The babies? ADORABLE! In their PJ’s! I die! TOO cute…
Thinking of you every day and sending you and your family positive vibes and good thoughts constantly.
Love and HUGS to you all!
Love Love Love!!! And you do look great momma! Yay for progress and continued prayers!
They are gorgeous and you look great!!!
OMG Jammies! You are killing me with the cuteness. My sister-in-law had my nephew only 5 weeks early, and he had a 10 day (I think) NICU stay. I watched the hell that they went through in those 10 days, and I still can’t imagine. Your babies are beautiful and I am glad they’re thriving. And you look totally fantastic, btw! Yay for breastfeeding, it will really help burn off the fluff!
Oh, and for what it’s worth…you look better 3 weeks after your triplets than my sister did 1 year after her twins were born. Go you!
I can not even imagine the pain you go through nightly, having to leave your sweet babes. Anyone who tells you to enjoy that time needs to be shot. In the foot at least. My little girl is almost 14 months old and I’ve never been away for her at night. I’ve been away from her for like 6+ hours one day, but that is IT. You are infinitely more strong than me. I’d be crying, um…. constantly.
And you do NOT look like you had triplets 3 weeks ago. My ute didn’t go down for like 8 weeks…and then I still looked fluffy.
You are amazing. And the first few weeks of breastfeeding appetite for ONE is horrendous… I can’t remember for three!! Praying for all five of you!!
You Look awesome Jenny!! Prolly better then some moms after just one human came out of them let alone 3!! Go you!! Your 3 lil precious bundles of joy are so adorable and I’m so glad to see they are doing well and thriving on that awesome mama milk (go you for pumping for them!!!). I cant believe the things people say about not being with your lil ones, my mom works in the NICU and im sure she could list a ton of preemies she’s taken care of that had parents visiting 1/3 as mcuh as you!! Keep on supporting those lil ones!
My initiation into motherhood was the NICU too (although just a week and not as scary!). Don’t let anyone tell you that is not apeshit stressful. (And I know a wee bit – I have 5 now.) Childcare? HUH? I left for 45 minutes during that whole week for dinner at a nearby Red Robin at my husband’s insistence. I couldn’t wait to get back to my boy.
Stay near those gorgeous babies and be kind to yourself. Go with your gut, and fug everyone else!
You are Super Woman, Jenny!!! Your story inspires. You look fabulous, and so do your babies.
You look great. And those babies are ADORABLE in their little pajamas!
Whoever said those things to you are crazy! They think they are being funny or helpful, but really? GAH! My son had to be transferred to another hospital with a nicu when he was born, I didnt even see his face for 3 days. People were telling me “at least he’s healthy!, dont cry, you’ll see him soon” UM WTF?! When you’ve had a child ripped from your body and then not see him, you can talk to me! Once i finally saw him I never wanted to leave him again! Leaving the nicu every night was heartwrenching. I did not want the “extra sleep, chance to eat in peace, a day without diapers, etc”. I wanted my baby!
People will never understand. I’m glad you were able to vent! I think it’s great for all us nicu mommies who remember! It makes us feel closer to you!
I admire your strength and positive outlook! I know it’s not easy but you’re doing amazing!!!
LOVE babies in jammies! They are so cute!!! and you look amazing too!!
Babies in jammies!! What an awesome surprise…you look amazing, but really why shouldn’t you…cause look babies in jammies!!!
Stay strong kiddo
This post made me cry. The NICU stay is hard and you are handling their extended time there better than I handled my son’s 6 day stay. You are amazing and strong, but it is okay to admit when you are a little down, and the haters are probably people who have no clue anyways. Don’t let them bother you.
And I cannot get over how amazing they are all doing, and how ADORABLE they are in those jammies!!
After the crazy few weeks I’ve had, this post was exactly what I needed. I love you. I love your babies. I don’t care how fluffy you look, because you rock. I’m so happy to hear the kiddos are doing so well. Eff the people that can’t say good things!
Jenny, your updates make me cry. Maybe its my hormones still being out of whack, but I seriously doubt it. I think it’s the way you describe this entire situation you and Rob are going through. You make us feel like we are experiencing it with you through the interwebz. You have made me realize how extremely lucky I am that we didn’t have any extended NICU time. 12 hours? That’s nothing. I don’t know if I could have been as strong as you are. You were made to be a mom. You battled infertility and know you are battling this with such grace and dignity. I’m in awe of you and your babes.
Speaking of behbehs, I love seeing the photos of your precious little ones. I want to reach out and squeeze them. You are doing such an amazing job being there for your son and daughters. You are strong, you are beautiful and you DO NOT look like you had three babies.
Pretty much every time I come in here I know it will end it tears. Good tears. Happy tears. You have 3 amazing babies who are on a great journey with two loving, wonderful parents. And um lady you look FAB for havin birthed 3 babies! The babies look so cute in their jammies.
You and the babies look great!