I still expect to see bruises in the crook of my left arm from frequent monitoring blood work.
I can’t hear women and/or couples make plans to get pregnant together without automatically adding, “… until miscarriage or infertility ruin the plans for one of you.”
I have to fake a certain amount of excitement for early pregnancies because my two early losses taught me to prepare for the worst.
Finish reading Infertility’s Wounds May Always Sting at Alphabet Soup, Fertility Flavor, my blog for FertilityAuthority.com.
Wow! This really made me think. It took us eight months to get pregnant with my daughter, and that was probably the hardest eight months of my life, emotionally, I mean. I understand a little (a tiny, tiny bit) of the sting of infertility, but not really. I don’t know what to say to friends who can’t conceive because I have never been there. But I am very grateful for my daughter and what I do have. Even if I don’t know what women who struggle with infertility go through, I am still immensely grateful for my daughter.
Thanks for making me understand a little better!
God bless!
Jennifer
We haven’t even started the testing yet and I’m dreading the needles. But kills me more than anything is hearing “we weren’t even trying!” Ugh.
Bravo, my friend, bravo. Just because someone wins the battle against infertility doesn’t mean they aren’t riddled with scars. I hold my twins in my arms and thank God and science for these miracles, but at the same time, I am still the bitter woman who went through countless procedures to get pregnant, then worried through every step of this pregnancy that something would go wrong.
I love how you eloquently put into words how I, and undoubtedly, countless other women feel. You always hit the nail on the head.
Also, good luck these next few weeks! I know the pain is intense, but soon it will be a distant memory.
I know that jaded feeling.. I remember during out 24 week ultrasound we invited my mother in law to come with us. While we were looking at images of our daughter, she was gushing to my doctor about how she must have the best job in the world to get to look at babies all day and all I could think in my head was, “Yeah, until you have to deliver bad news to the parents..”. Miscarriage and loss makes you jaded in ways that people who haven’t experienced them can’t really imagine.
I have scars in the crooks of my elbows, and there is a spot on my hip going down my leg that is numb from 12 weeks of progesterone shots. My daughter takes away alot of the pain of infertility. Being pregnant with twins and knowing how busy I will be eases the pain a little more , but I think I will always be a little jealous of women who get pregnant when they want to, with out having to go to a doctor or fill a prescription.
Beautifully written as always my friend. The scars from infertility cannot be seen, but they are shared by many. You are a wonderful friend, and I know of three lucky little people who will be privileged to call you Mommy.
Amen. Even after having two healthy pregnancies and two beautiful children the journey to get where I am has stayed with me.
jenny, i just found your blog this morning through the blog awards. first of all, congratulations! on the award AND pb&j!! i’m catching up on your story and just have to comment on this post and say thank you. i have a new bruise coming out on my left arm as i type from a blood draw this morning to follow up on my beta after my second miscarriage two weeks ago…first m/c was after 2nd iui and this m/c was after 2nd ivf (5 iuis and 2 ivfs total so far)…until i started reading your blog i seriously had pretty much decided that i wasn’t going to go through another ivf procedure because i didn’t want to take the chance of another loss. but i’m having the recurrent loss panel blood test done in a couple of weeks and, if we get some answers, i probably will now try again. because if i don’t, i may just miss that “third time’s a charm” chance like you got
thank you for putting this all out there. the scars hurt, they never go away, but they do make us stronger…thank you thank you thank you….xoxo
Libby, the chance of another loss is the most painful chance to take. The chance of success, though? Totally worth the risk. I hope this next round is your winner!