It’s true. It’s something I’ve known all along, and OF COURSE the plans/goals/aspirations I had for this pregnancy would be tossed into re-evaluation while I’m blogging about them.
Because that’s precisely what happened.
On the morning of Wednesday, Nov. 3, I was parked in my desk chair, blogging my little heart about about how thrilled we were to learn that PB&J are average-sized babies for their gestational ages of 25 weeks. I was holding off on talking about my own average experience as a pregnant lady (rare, considering I’m carrying triplets), because I was waiting on a phone call from my OB’s office. The day before, I just barely failed the three-hour glucose test for gestational diabetes and wasn’t sure if I’d actually be diagnosed with the condition or if I’d be given a chance to retest.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thanked God that I was tired and sore that morning. I was just sitting, not up and moving around the house doing laundry or cleaning up. Because I was quietly sitting and focused on the babies and my pregnancy, I noticed that my belly was rhythmically tightening.
I should pause here and say my belly often feels tight. It’s going to happen when you have three little boogers pushing up against each other and me. Sometimes, I have a baby butt, back or head sticking out of each side of my abdomen. When that happens, my whole belly feels tight only because it’s being stretched on the outsides. It happens. It’s normal.
But on Wednesday morning, it felt like someone was inflating a balloon inside my belly, and no babies were fighting to poke out my sides. I’d feel the inflating feeling, note it, then feel it again just moments later. Over and over. After about 20 minutes of touching my belly and trying to figure out what was going on, I called the OB’s office. I wasn’t sure if it was Braxton Hicks, if it was because of babies, or – God forbid – I was having contractions.
They told me to head into labor and delivery to have triage check me out. I asked if they’d check me at the office, but they said they didn’t have the equipment to have all three babies monitored at once. Before leaving for the hospital, I decided to check in with the high-risk OB group I see to monitor the babies’ progress as they grow. My OB group takes care of me. The Maternal Fetal Medicine group takes care of the babies. Totally makes sense to call them, too, right?
They concurred with the OB, so off I went, fully expecting to be one of those silly pregnant ladies you see on TV who are shamed out of the hospital for being concerned about gas or Braxton Hicks.
Wrong.
They got me hooked up to four monitors – one for each baby and one for my uterus. The monitors showed no distress with the babies, but it did show that I was having mild contractions every two minutes. At that point, it had been an hour and a half from when I first noticed the inflating- balloon sensation.
The OB on call came in to check my cervix and found it was closed and long, so she wasn’t concerned. I sat, and we waited, hoped and prayed for the contractions to stop on their own.
That didn’t happen. Eventually, my cervix was checked again, and the OB discovered I was starting to dilate. They administered a fetal fibronectin test. If it came back negative, it meant I wasn’t in danger of delivery within two weeks. If it came back positive, it didn’t necessarily mean I was about to deliver. False positives on fFN tests are common. Good news, though. Mine came back negative.
I breathed a sigh of relief and went back to waiting to hear that the contractions stopped and that I could head home. I was given a terbutaline injection to relax my uterus, and I soon heard that the contractions were slowing. Once the terb wore off, they started back at two minutes apart. Then the OB checked my cervix again. I had dilated even further – between 2cm and 3 cm – and she thought she felt bulging membranes.
Not. Good. News. They told me I was being admitted to labor and delivery, and they were inserting a catheter and starting an IV drip of magnesium sulfate to stop the contractions along with administering a steroid shot to help mature the babies’ lungs should they be unable to stop the contractions. Up until that point, they were saying an irritable uterus was causing my contractions. Suddenly, the game changed. I was in preterm labor.
This is the point where Wednesday, Thursday and Friday start to blend together in a haze of drug side effects and terrifying information. My mom had been with me in triage, but Rob came up after work, pretty much showing up when they were transferring me from triage to my own L&D room. My mom tried to hug me goodbye and offer words of encouragement, but I stopped her, saying I just couldn’t do that without crying, and I really couldn’t afford to cry and stress my body out any more than it was.
I don’t dare complain about how awful those medications to stop preterm labor made me feel. We all know I would have felt infinitely worse – in much more horrible ways – had they not done their jobs. That should go without saying, but I just can’t let it.
Disclaimer aside, the drugs were ROUGH on my body. Magnesium sulfate creates severe flu-like symptoms. I felt like I had a raging fever, complete with the weakness that accompanies that. Worse, though, was how HOT I was. Fevers are treatable. This was not. I stripped down to nothing but my sports bra, and I had the room air conditioning cranked with a fan circulating the cold air. Rob, who is normally warmer than me, was shivering with a sweatshirt and a blanket. I was nearly naked and sweating, drinking ice water like it was going out of style and tearing through disposable ice pack after ice pack. After nearly six hours of magnesium sulfate not doing anything but make me miserable, I asked them to revisit the terbutaline. It at least slowed contractions down earlier, so I was hopeful it’d be the ticket. Finally, contractions stopped around 3 a.m., and I continued on my medications. The mag made me feel feverish. The terb made me shake like a leaf. Together, they stopped me from delivering.
It was during the night on Wednesday that we were visited by the neonatologist on duty that night. I tried with all my might to pay attention to what he was saying, but I just couldn’t. The medications and fatigue got the best of me, and that was probably a good thing. I do remember hearing that our sweet babies would have a 70 percent-75 percent chance of survival, but even those chances were in the face of nearly guaranteed lung and brain problems. If I hadn’t been in a fog, I would have lost it.
The next morning, I was given my second dose of steroids, and they continued to monitor the babies and wait for contractions to start again. I stayed on all the meds and just basically survived the day, one hour at a time. I hardly slept. I became a human pin cushion between my regular terbutaline shots, blood sugar checks and insulin injections. I had asked the Internet world for prayers the night before, so I knew I had to keep updating. It took me several minutes and sometimes several attempts to just compose an update on my Twitter feed, but the bit of time it took for me to compose a message was good for my soul. I couldn’t speak very well, and trying to make my emotions physically shown was really difficult. But, in my updates, I could focus on the positives with minimal (although tedious) effort.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday all run together in my mind. It was one long day of looking for the next bit of good news. The best news of the experience came Friday morning, when one of the MFM doctors stopped in to examine me. He finished and declared that delivery WAS NOT IMMINENT. My body looked completely different from how everyone expected it to after all I’d been through. Yes, my cervix has dilated a bit, but it isn’t in danger of completely giving away. He gave the orders to pull me off the magnesium sulfate first and keep me on terbutaline the longest. If I made it through the night without contractions resuming, I could be moved from labor and delivery to a room in high-risk obstetrics.
I finally got two, nearly two-hour stretches of sleep Friday night once the immediate effects of the magnesium sulfate started to dissipate. Mid-day Saturday, they removed my catheter, all my IVs, the contraction monitor and the leg cuffs that forced my legs to keep blood circulating. I was allowed up and out of bed for the first time, and they transferred me to my new, much more quiet room.
I’ve been here since, waiting on more good news. Each day has been a huge victory, and they no longer suspect the contractions were caused by an infection from Baby A. It looks like it was just a thing that happens in several multiple pregnancies. They say I’ll soon be able to head home to spend the rest of this pregnancy on strict bed rest.
I’m OK with that. Several people have sent me messages telling me not to worry about bed rest, not to stress about it, etc., but you know what? I’m thankful for bed rest. Maybe it’s just because what we’ve been through in the last five days. Maybe it’s because of all we went through to conceive our sweet triplets in the first place. Or maybe it’s because I’m a mellow person to begin with. My top hobby has always been reading, so the idea of sitting around and relaxing for weeks (and weeks and weeks, I hope!) doesn’t sound like anything to worry about. I’m a homebody. I don’t need to be out and about.
Most importantly, I need to continue doing what is best for the three tiny people who are depending on me to keep them alive and well. We don’t know how much longer they’ll stay inside babies, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep them safe and sound, free of fighting the outside world, for as long as it takes.
I’d love to go back to saying I plan to make it as close to 35 weeks as possible, but that just feels greedy. It feels ignorant. On the other hand, I can’t set a sooner goal without worrying that I’m cutting us short and saying I’m OK with giving up once X weeks hits. Each day and each week we can safely put behind us at this point is an absolute blessing, and I’m not about to take time for granted or wish it away.
After what I’ve been through this week, I’m back to my early-pregnancy mantra: I’m pregnant today, and I love my babies.
I’ve been following your blog for several months, date back to previous PB&J news and am thankful to hear that all is okay. I have to share the irony, that my best friend is pregnant and is only three or four weeks ahead of you (only one baby though!). She also went into the hospital on Wednesday, though she is actually being induced tonight and will be having her baby girl in the next um-teen hours. She developed a pretty severe case of pre-eclamsia and fortuantely she is in good hands. I’m surrounded by prayers going out to momma’s and their babies right now, and I wanted to let you know that you are on that list! <3 hang in there, jenn! and give my best to PB&J!
You’re pregnant today, and we are praying for all four of you.
Also, you’re my hero.
Praying for you. Hopefully PB&J will get to continue to warp your belly for a few more months.
Yay for contractions stopping! yay for being off the meds, hooray for them working! and im glad your feeling better. im like you a reader and a home body so bed rest will be good! i hope you have someone that can hop up and get a book for you and also make library runs! of course i know your parents are going to be right there! Do they know what caused it or is it just because your carrying multiples? I hope you make it to 35 also, i dont think its greedy. you are amazing, you have amazing strength and an amazing heart. i have prayed to my angels for you and am glad that they answered my prayers of not letting anything happen. you are a fighter and i can see that your wee babes are too. I will keep them up until pbj safely arrive. stay strong and rest well! love hugs and prayers sent to you rob your parents and the wee ones. xoxox
You’re amazing. I was taken aback when I saw your twitter update because of your “average” post. I’m so glad the contrax stopped and the babies are staying put for now. Your positivity and outlook are really inspiring.
Now, stay put for your mama trips! Just a little longer and you can come out and play.
Enjoy your reading
I just found your blog and twitter about 3 days ago and have since then read through your blog archives….
I hope things continue to improve for you (and of course the babies) and that your bedrest goes on for as long as needed (hopefully you have some good books and whatnot to keep you busy)…
I started following your twitter, and then your blog, about a month ago. The last 5 days has been so scary, I bet!! I have been on edge waiting for a tweet update from you saying the babies are still inside, and that things are better.
I’m so glad to hear that labor is not in PB&J’s near future!!
Hope you get to go home soon! =) You are amazing!!
You are pregnant today.
& doing beautifully.
& every moment you fight is one less that your babies have to fight, & that makes you an incredible mother & inspiration.
I love you & those babies.
Seriously Jenn. I am crying. I hope that in the past 5 days you and Rob feel how much y’all are loved. So many people have been praying, sending love and thinking about y’all. Those trips, when they come MANY WEEKS FROM NOW, are going to be some massively loved babies. I am so so so happy that this story has turned the direction that it has. Lots and lots and lots of hugs from far away!
Also, BA always says the most perfect things. And even that made me cry.
“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.” – LJ Suenens
Keep dreaming and keep hoping Jenny. You are amazing and you are amazing all of us. PB&J already have the best momma every and we all know you are doing everything within your power to give them the best start possible. Let us know if you need anything! Your Nesties love you!!!!
I am so glad to hear good news! I will continue to pray for you and the babies! Keep up the great work and enjoy reading. =) You are amazing.
How very, very happy I am to hear that you guys are doing so much better. I have been praying for you every day.
Your outlook is amazing – the best thing you can do for yourself and the babies.
I was on bedrest for 6 weeks. It wasn’t fun but it wasn’t the most terrible thing in the world. And now, sometimes I close my eyes and dream about it.
To lay down all day long with orders to do so – AH.
So proud of you. You are an inspiration.
<3
You are truly amazing, and I’m praying for you and your little family. I love your mantra and the amazing strength you’re showing through this time. I, too, remember being in the hospital and telling myself that I will take each day at a time as a true blessing. Hang in there and remember that you’re surrounded by love and prayers from the peeps on the outside
Much love to you & all three babies. So so so glad they have you in the step down room w/ at home bed rest w/n view! Happy resting & reading.
This is my first comment, but I’ve been reading for a while. And I want to tell you how happy I am that you recognized the signs and got seen. I didn’t want to be that pregnant woman who gets sent home with gas/constipation pains, so I tried to breathe through it. And my water broke. And my twins were born less than an hour later, at 26w3d. And one of them passed away four days later.
So please, don’t worry about ever feeling or looking dumb.. because that’s highly preferable over going through all that mess.
You and your three little ones are in my thoughts! Hoping for many many more weeks of bedrest.
Oh Jenn, I’m so glad to hear that things are better and that PB&J are staying put for a while longer.
Take it easy and try to enjoy your bed rest.
I love your blog! Stay strong and get as much rest as you can now because once your bundles of joy come… well you know
Good luck and I hope the babies stay inside for many more weeks to come!
I heart you.
You truly are an inspiration. So strong. Those babies are so lucky to have Rob & you as their parents.
So happy to hear you are doing much better & staying positive.
Keep staying positive!
I am so glad that you and those babies are hanging in there.
I’m sending continual thoughts and prayers your way for a healthy delivery of PB&J at a much later date.
You are so positive and amazing. Your kiddos have an wonderful momma already. We’ll keep thinking about you and praying for you.
I love my wife, I love my babies. Thanks so much for all the thoughts and prayers.
Wow, sounds like you had a very rough ride the past few days! So glad that things have calmed down. I pray that those babies remain in utero for a good many weeks to come. You are doing so well and I believe your positive attitude will go a long way in carrying all of you through! God bless!
You’re a wonderful momma and those sweet little babies are lucky to have you.
Stay strong, read, stay mellow and enjoy your time with your inside babies. I’m so happy things settled down.
Thinking of you all and praying for you and the babies constantly.
You amaze me!! I am thinking and praying for you. You are my pregnancy role model.
You are amazing. I love you and those babies and will not stop the prayers!
You are doing an amazing job, Momma! Keep up the positive attitude, I fully believe that a positive attitude leads to a positive outcome! Enjoy the reading! I hope to see you posting a lot on the NBC!
Thoughts and prayers are still coming for you and the babes m’dear. You are doing a great job, momma!
praying for you and those precious babies… you are all in our thoughts today.
Been thinking of you…you are truly amazing. All of you are in my thoughts & prayers.
You’re a rock star, hero Mom. Seriously.
Oh, Jenny, I’m so happy to hear things are going well (or better) for you at this very moment. What a nightmare but you survived it and you’re so strong to have gone through it. Please take care of yourself and those lovely little ones you’re carrying. We’re all thinking of you. xo
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by So-Called (TTC) Life and Jenny, Jenny. Jenny said: Plans are for amateurs: http://jennandtonica.com/2010/11/plans-are-for-amateurs/ #pretermlabor #ptl #triplets […]
You go lady. Enjoy your rest and reading while keeping those babes safe and tight.
You’re an amazing momma and will have a good story to tell your triplets someday. Many thoughts & prayers for your family.
I’m so glad that you and babies are well, and that there is no fear of labor in the near future. Those babies are blessed with a momma like you, that is fighting so hard for them.
I am keeping you, the babies, and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
<3 I love love love this! You are surrounded in prayers!
I know you don’t “know” me & I hope this doesn’t come out too weird, but you are loved and supported all over the webz. Many prayers continue to go your way.
Jenny, I am so glad you are home and resting. I’ve read your blog for a long time and I’m so happy for you, Rob & your sweet babies. I’ve sent a lot of prayers your way
I’m so glad that everything turned out ok. And I hope you get to read a gajillion books before those sweet babes show themselves.
I’m so glad they were able to stop your PTL. I see my perinatologist tomorrow and hope that he’ll have suggestions for stopping mine. So far I’ve been on bedrest and meds for two weeks and although (as far as we know, we will get an update tomorrow) my cervix is still unchanged, my contractions are still happening. My fFN (fetal fibronectrin) was negative, but tomorrow is the end of that test being negative for sure.. I’ll be retested Wednesday.
Do they think you’ll be in the hosp the rest of your pregnancy, or will you get to go home for bed rest at all?
I’ve been on a site called keepemcooking lately (http://keepemcookin.com/) and highly recommend it for other bed rest moms.
Good luck. You’ve been in my thoughts all along and you are still. All of you are.
Im so happy they got everything slowed down. Bed rest sounds like a lovely plan. Xo
I’m so glad that you recognized what was going on and went in so quickly! And I am so sorry you guys had such a rough time. The fact that you didn’t cry on Magnesium Sulfate gets you a gold star in my book (you are way stronger than I was!). SO happy that you are home, now. Rest up and stay calm… it will be so worth it in the end when you’re holding on to those three little ones. I’ll keep you all in my prayers!