An experiment with kale (153/365)

As most of you (should) know, I have PCOS. What does PCOS have to do with kale, you ask? Hold onto your britches. I’m getting to that.

PCOS is one of those mystery syndromes. They don’t know what causes it, and they don’t know (if anything) what cures it. They do know that some things help some people. Yes, that’s as helpful and definitely-not-frustrating – just like it sounds.

One of the maybe-just-maybe helpers to alleviate PCOS symptoms is following a diet of foods that rate low on the Glycemic Index. Many carbs are not welcome. Good ones are, bad ones arent.

This includes potatoes. Poe-tay-toes, as my friend Samwise Gamgee says.

In case I haven’t spelled it out before, that’s why I’m a reformed potato addict, like my wee bio jig says over there ——>.

Well, most of the time.

Sometimes, like any good addict, I fall off the wagon. I was so very good during the last cycle and at the beginning of this current one that I honestly believe my hard work paid off. For the first time (I wasn’t monitored at all last cycle) since starting with the specialist, neither ovary was polycystic. The doctor could actually count the number of follicles on each ovary. He didn’t just give up trying to count that high (more than 30, usually) and just declare, “PCOS!”

Time out for a quick lesson. It’s believed that frequent spikes and dips in one’s blood sugar affects the number of follicles (little houses containing an egg that grow off each ovary) in women who suffer from PCOS. Most doctors prescribe Metformin, a pre-diabetes drug, to help regulate insulin levels. Too many carbs (sugar, starches, etc.) can make that insulin level bounce around, so this is also why doctors recommend a low-GI diet.

Time in.

I’ve been fairly good since my original diagnosis, but I slip up occasionally. Not only was I pretty gosh-darn strict before my last monitoring appointment, but it also was the first time since my doctor increased my dosage of Metformin.

Summary: I have PCOS. Carbs might hate PCOS. I try super hard to be a low-GI eater. I love salt & vinegar.

Now we come to the main part of the story – the salt & vinegar part.

I’m going to blame my good friend Jennifer for awakening the salt & vinegar monster in me with her talks of Pringles, ohhhh WEEKS AGO. Since then, I can’t stop thinking about my favorite chip variety. And my favorite way to eat french fries.

And so once I ovulated this cycle, I just had to go to Five Guys for fries dripping in salt & vinegar. And it was delightful. And it’s all I can think about.

Last night, in a fit of desperation, I googled “salt and vinegar.”

Praise baby Jesus, a low-GI recipe popped up, from one of my favorite recipe blogs, Kalyn’s Kitchen.

I saw it, and I had to have it. So I did.

Roasted Kale Chips with Sea Salt and Vinegar
(Makes 2-3 servings of kale chips, recipe adapted by Kalyn with inspiration from many other bloggers who also made kale chips.)

one small bunch of kale, about 6 oz.
1 T extra-virgin olive oil
1 T vinegar (I used Spanish sherry vinegar, but any vinegar you like the flavor of will work)
sea salt to taste

Preheat oven to 300F/150C.

Cut away inner ribs from each kale leaf and discard, then tear the kale leaves into same-size pieces. (I made my pieces about the size of a small potato chip.) Wash torn kale pieces and spin dry in a salad spinner or dry with paper towels until they’re very dry.

Put kale pieces into a large Ziploc bag (or use a bowl if you don’t mind getting your hands oily.) Add half of the 1 T of olive oil, seal bag, and squeeze the bag so the oil gets distributed evenly on the kale pieces. Add the other half tablespoon of oil and squeeze the bag more, until all kale pieces are evenly coated with oil and slightly “massaged.”

Open the Ziploc bag and sprinkle the 1 T sherry vinegar over the kale leaves, then seal bag and shake to spread the vinegar out over all the leaves.

Arrange kale leaves in a single layer on a baking sheet, then roast until they are mostly crisp, about 35 minutes.

When chips are done to your liking, sprinkle with a generous amount of sea salt and eat immediately.

before

after (sorry it’s so blurry – I was dancing with anticipation)

My verdict is still out on this recipe. It tasted good – REALLY good. I used copious amounts of vinegar and even added more once they were done. Oh, yes, this did wonders for my s&v craving.

But the kale. It was interesting. The few times I could actually taste it, the kale sort of reminded me of roasted broccoli (one of my favorite veggie sides), but I’ll be honest. I mostly just tasted the salt & vinegar. And that was A-OK by me.

The thing that weirded me out was the texture. Roasted kale is crunchy – super crunchy – but it’s also paper thin. It almost felt like I wasn’t really eating anything of substance, just crunching away on some crispy paper that tasted like salt & vinegar.

I don’t know, guys. I know I’m a texture snob (I don’t eat anything that feels icky), but I guess maybe I was just hoping for something with more bite? Like fries. Or potato chips.

One thing is for sure: The hanging verdict didn’t stop me from eating the entire pan. Please pray that my belly doesn’t walk out on me.