Maybe it’s because I’m a talkative person who is terrible at keeping her own secrets, but I never once considered keeping the details of our fertility treatments a secret.
For good or for bad, I knew I would need the support of those around me. For bad, I knew having loved ones aware of my increased sensitivity to “When are you having a baby?” talk would save us all from awkward outbursts and uncomfortable, one-sided fights. For good – well, that’s obvious.
Bigger than my feelings, though, was the knowledge that I was spreading the word about infertility.
Talking about when a couple plans to start trying is A-OK dinner table talk — even suggestions about frequency and positions can come up. But start talking about medical issues that cause infertility or medical intervention to fight said issues, and it’s suddenly uncomfortable.
Why? Great Aunt Mildred can yammer on about her incontinence and bowel issues, the boil on her arm or any other disgusting (yet surely uncomfortable for poor Great Aunt Mildred) affliction, but talking about sperm counts and ovarian reserve — that’s off limits. Too far. Let’s not go there.
It’s dumb.
Finish reading Silence and Infertility Don’t Mix at Alphabet Soup, Fertility Flavor, my blog for FertilityAuthority.com.
Yes, you read that correct. Rob and I decided long ago that we preferred cloth diapers to disposable diapers. Even with three tiny bums to cover, we’re planning to use cloth diapers. One kid usually requires diaper laundry every 2-3 days. We’ve pretty much resigned to the fact that our washer will be running on the daily, so one of those loads each day will have diapers in it.
I have lots of experience using pre-folds on a wee bum during the day, so that’s one decision down.
But what in the world should we use for nighttime? Pre-folds and covers with an extra stuffing? All-in-ones?
Obviously, cost is a HUGE factor, and I want diapers with staying power. If we can use the same thing during the day and night – that’s obviously ideal. Right? Or is it not? Halp!
SECOND TRIMESTER! I’M OFFICIALLY IN MY SECOND TRIMESTER OF PREGNANCY!
Milestones. I haz dem.
Getting that positive pregnancy test was a giant milestone. A big number for my first beta was another huge milestone – then the second, third and so on. I was terrified of our first ultrasound, but seeing the first little baby with its flickering heart was like someone had lifted the world off my shoulders. I felt lighter than air when we saw the second baby and heartbeat. Then I think the world got dropped onto my head when the third baby’s blob and heart popped into view.
Reality set in, and I started to get excited about triplets. Triplets! I’ve never even met or laid eyes on a set of triplets in person. And now Rob and I are going to have our very own! Triplets! THREE BABIES!
Bleeding and an unknown Something took the wind from my sails the day we were told we had lost Baby C. The day was a milestone for TWO babies, but it was devastating at the same time. I tried my hardest to focus on the fact that we had TWO babies who were growing and thriving. Another milestone!
More bleeding sent us in for the ultrasound that revealed a strong, healthy, thriving Ninja Baby – the day we found Baby C made a miraculous comeback. Three ultrasounds in, and we still had growing babies with heartbeats. Amazing!
At that point, we went into each ultrasound (some scheduled and some unexpected because of MORE bleeding) with baited breath until we were able to do a headcount. Three? All healthy? OK! Excellent!
It was only at my last ultrasound – 13 weeks, 1 day – that I expected to see three healthy babies. I didn’t hold my breath and search the screen for movement. I didn’t bite my lip while I resisted grabbing the technician’s hand to just hurry up and show all three already.
Instead, I just watched the screen and smiled – even when Baby A was lazing about in its normal hammock position and didn’t move at first. That’s just what Baby A does – the chill baby of the bunch. I smiled when Baby B’s little hand or foot came into view because throwing punches or kicks is what B & C do best (B can usually be seen in some fashion when the tech is looking at A, but I think C is too “far” away to see when A is up close).
I wasn’t anxious or nervous about the tech finding something wrong. I was just happy to once again see my three little babies.
Happy. That’s the exact emotion I expected to take over during second trimester – in my pre-triplet days.
After learning I was carrying three babies, I expected the first-trimester anxiety to follow me through the entire high-risk pregnancy. Of course, the worst can happen at any point in any pregnancy, though the risk of that drops greatly after the first trimester. I’m not sure what sort of numbers-risk I’m facing right now – AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW – but I do know the risk of preterm labor will be setting in soon enough. Before then, any sort of markers – from high blood pressure to a shortening cervix to who knows what – could alert my doctors that it’s time for bedrest.
In short, I expected to spend this entire pregnancy scared out of my mind. Those of you with kids will say this emotion will stay with me till the day I die, but, morbidly, I was too afraid of the pregnancy to even consider what life as a mom to outside babies would be like. I have so many hurdles to (carefully) jump before I get there.
But on Monday, I was happy to see exactly what I expected: three healthy little babies.
Today, I am excited. I’ve successfully carried three babies through a third of a normal-length pregnancy. My body, which has so often seemed against me in the past, is acting like a rockstar. I barely had morning sickness. I’ve had my fair share of scary scares, but they’ve been nothing more than scares. I’ve had some backaches and headaches and some days when I felt blinking was too difficult a task, but all in all, my body is acting like this is exactly what it was made for. And, while the unknown is beyond terrifying, there is something in the back of my head that is screaming, “I CAN DO THIS!”
I thought at one point I’d never experience a pregnancy that lasted longer than a few short days, that my body was just incapable of holding onto something so sweet.
Thirteen weeks and three days have passed with three inside babies. It isn’t close to long enough, but it’s a milestone I never once imagined I’d ever reach. It’s time to take my own advice, relax, and enjoy life – with three babies. HELLO, SECOND TRIMESTER!
We have a boat.
We like to spend as much weekend time on it as possible during these loooooong (and HOT) NC summers. Sometimes, we spend too much weekend time on it and feel like our poor dog, Lucky, is sad and neglected all by her lonesome at home.
Wee problem: Lucky isn’t a big fan of the boat. Our girl has no balance in a moving vehicle and gets tossed around unless someone is holding onto her and helping with inertia’s twisted game. In her defense, she isn’t all that muscular (though she’s tough), and she weighs about 11 lbs.
I’m pretty sure I’d flail about, too.
The bigger problem is it often makes her sick.
So sometimes, being on the boat makes her barf. Not fun.
Another problem is that she just isn’t terribly fond of swimming. I swear she has a magnet that pulls her back to the boat, because the second she hits the water, she’s making a beeline for the ladder. This wouldn’t be a problem if NC didn’t have such loooooooooong (and HOT) summers.
So we sometimes bring her along out of pity – she thinks we do it to torture her.
We’re convinced she’ll eventually like it once she gets more used to it. Her usual swimming M.O. is to A) get plunked in the water and head straight back to the boat or B) get plunked in the water and swim to one of us then climb up onto a chest, using Mommy or Daddy as her own personal island in de sun.
Like so:
(she’s pffffft-ing this swimming nonsense)
But never before have ducks passed by our boat when Lucky has been on it. Today was the day.
She and I were hanging out on the boat, and I saw off to the side two ducks swimming by. I grabbed Lucky onto my lap and pointed them out. The ears and tail went up, and she was READY. She followed them to the front and then to the other side, and when they were right next to us, Lucky, who despises swimming and will only get in the water under force, jumped in off the side of the boat and started swimming after the ducks.
I laughed hysterically for a minute, wondered how far she’d go and if we’d have to swim miles to retrieve our little hunter, and then I got a brilliant idea. Camera.
She swam from the side to decently ahead of the boat before giving up and returning. The rest of the day was spent on Official Duck Patrol, and you know what? Being on the boat and in the water might not be so bad after all.
How many pregnant-lady cliches do you spot in this photo? The phallic-looking cucumber half (from my backyard!) does. not. count.
I look and feel like a total frump today, so you’re getting a silly photo that most definitely shows off The Belly.
Triplets! 12 weeks, 3 days pregnant!
pea ess – I added a pregnancy ticker to the About section if you’re dying to know how far along I am at random times.
