My nightly prayer varies each day, but it usually goes a little like this:
Dear God,
Thank you for my babies. Thank you for choosing me for them and them for me. Thank you for their health. Thank you for their strength.
Thank you for Toby. Thank you for his funny giggle, his dimples, the way he looks at me, the way he cuddles when he’s sleepy. Thank you for his backward scoot, the way he wrinkles his nose and his smirk.
Thank you for Eleanor. Thank you for her expressive chattering, for her giggle that trills, for the way she clings to my shoulder when I carry her, for the huge grin she always has when she wakes. Thank you for the times she hits a milestone first and for a stubbornness that will guarantee her perseverance.
Thank you for Callista. Thank you for giving us a taste of Heaven’s sugar in her, the sweetest person I’ve ever met. Thank you for her voice of the week. Thank you for showing me how beautiful I am by creating her as my Mini Me. Thank you for her giggles that are more like shrieks, how she loves to jump, and the way she loves to be in the bath with the back of her head resting in the water.
Thank you for Rob. I couldn’t design a better husband and father of my babies. You know what You’re doing.
Thank you for giving me such wonderful parents. Watching them as grandparents has been a dream come true. I couldn’t ask for more love and support.
Thank you for keeping me strong, for my moments of clarity and for finally blessing me with patience.
Watch over my friends and family. Give them peace and strengthen their faith.
(various people and requests come next)
******
I never close my prayers because I always drift off to sleep, counting my blessings. I always have, and because of that, I’m not quite sure how to close a personal, unscripted prayer.
Over and out, amen?
All that’s in there is baby bottles. Those aren’t terribly interesting.
Good golly, Miss Molly. Blogging is difficult lately. I have so much to say and so little time in which to say it.
This is why God invented bulleted lists.
- My new camera is in my possession, but my iPhoto is being a douchebag and has decided to quit recognizing the image files. I was dumb and shot a bunch in aRGB format. I thought they downloaded fine, so I deleted them – two weeks worth of photos – and took more. It wasn’t until another week went by and I tried to dump those on my computer that I realized I had a problem. Deleting those, switching back to sRGB and reformatting my card haven’t helped, so I’m not stuck between a photographic rock and hard place until my tech-savvy brother-in-law can do some digging to find the problem or hook me up with Adobe Lightroom. Also? I threw out the disc with Canon’s file viewer. Le sigh.
- Naps are hit or miss. I’m past worrying about them. I just prefer days when the babies get enough rest to not be angry and overtired near the end of the day. It makes life so much more simple.
- I listened to the whole Harry Potter series on audiobook while pumping, cleaning, cooking, baby-wrangling or falling asleep in preparation for the final movie’s upcoming release. I may simultaneously cry and pee my pants when July 15 hits. Yes, we will be going. I doubt we’ll hit the midnight showing, but we’ll be there sooner rather than later.
- Speaking of pumping, the boob juice is still a-flowing round these parts. I’ve begun taking out a bottle of frozen milk every couple of days, which I call my “peace of mind milk.” I really didn’t want to touch it in case the dreaded “I hit X months and completely dried up” happened to me, but stressing over the number of mLs ready in the fridge wasn’t helping anyone, either. The frozen bottle I pull gives my mind a bit of a cushion and helps me focus less on my output.
- I’ve hate bugs in the house. Always have, always will. I’m currently hunting down ants. Little bastards.
- I’m terrible and still haven’t found the time to write an entry dedicated to Callista. They’ve all changed so much since my initial profile of Toby that I feel even worse for letting that much time pass. Bad, bad, bad.
- Eleanor is a rolling fool, and Toby isn’t far behind. Eleanor rolls a good 5 feet in a matter of seconds but seems content to stay close to home base (aka the big beach towel and play mat). Toby hasn’t figured out that consecutive rolling covers more space than scooting backward on his butt, and Callista is just stubborn. She can roll both ways now as well, but she only does it with proper motivation. She’s pretty happy just hanging out wherever you lay her.
- The babies impressed their developmentalist at the end of last month. The doctor asks us questions about what each baby does or doesn’t do then does a quick evaluation. He checks out things like motor skills, responsiveness, eye contact and whatnot then scores them based on our answers and their performance. Last time, all three were right on track for their corrected ages (3 months behind for being born 3 months early). This time, they scored only 2 months behind their actual age – as average 5-month-olds – and at the bottom range of how average 6-month-olds score. WOW! They can fall behind or move ahead at any time, so we aren’t calling this advancement a done deal – we’re just thrilled, as is their doctor. We go back again when they’re 9 months old, then we are hopeful to cross that specialist off the necessary list (they see the eye doctor annually until age 4).
- My triplets are growing like weeds. They’re all wearing 6-month clothing (though, to be honest, their cloth diapers add a bit of length and girth), and I’m ordering the next size up in diapers today. My to-be-consigned pile is monstrous. Yay for lots to sell, boo for lots of work to get it all ready.
- In an effort to help my milk supply, I’ve almost given up on personally feeding the babies bottles. I breastfeed all three for their first feeding then nurse one or two for each subsequent feeding through the day. On a personal level, I love the one-on-one sessions. On a supply level, the all-day-long tandem feedings (on most weekends) are great. They all three have their preferred positions when they fly solo, and that just cracks me up. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know them better this way.
- We’re still testing out the waters with solid foods, and we’re A-OK to take it slowly. We’ve only gotten around to oatmeal and pears (now mixed), but I’m going to try adding sweet potatoes this week. They’re getting much better at eating, so adding new stuff doesn’t seem like a waste anymore. In case you’re wondering, yes, I’m making their food myself. It’s pretty easy, and the cost savings is ridiculous.
I’ve been blogging with Eleanor in my lap for a few bullets now, but Toby just woke up, and two awake babies makes blogging rather difficult. I hate to end so abruptly, but such is life these days. If I saved this as a draft to come back to later, it’d sit untouched for who knows how long, and that would be counterproductive of what I set out to do.
Thus, you get an abrupt ending. Cheers!
(Eleanor, Toby)
This is how naps look these days. They don’t always look just like this (switch out one baby for another, remove one, add one – the combinations are endless!), but they usually resemble this lack of sleeping babies.
They’re never going to nap again, are they? I should just start referring to this phase of my life as The Zombie Years, shouldn’t I?
I know, I know. It’s likely a phase (marching through week 3? 4? now); they’re likely experiencing that wild and wonderful four-month (corrected age) wakeful period.
But you never know. This may be the end of REM cycling as I know it.
Crap, Number Three is awake. Ta ta!
(I wrote this on my iPod Touch with a view identical to the above photo. Blogging with 7-month-old triplets is creative and innovative! Whee!)
Readers, You. Are. AWESOME! I asked for help, and you came through! Thank you so much, to all of you who took time to suggest products and offer advice.
My own addition: I started pumping for my triplets about five hours after their birth. It took several weeks of full-time support of a staff of lactation specialists, nurses and my husband before they were all able to take an entire feeding at the breast. It wasn’t until this past month that breastfeeding itself was something I’d say I enjoy. I took to pumping right away because it made me feel like I was doing something in those early days when I couldn’t hardly touch my babies. Providing breastmilk has been my goal all along – breastfeeding was just something to do to help supply and because I didn’t hate it.
The babies are seven months old today, and breastfeeding is enjoyable. It’s quick. It’s more efficient than bottle feeding.
It took us seven months to get here.
Without the support of readers, Twitter friends, IRL friends, family, our nurses, my LCs and, most importantly, Rob, I would have given up long ago. I’m happy I didn’t. I’m happy I still haven’t.
I’ve worked my butt off (though not literally because I eat a ton – calories and fat are IMPORTANT! I’ll diet later. Or, you know, I’ll just chase after three crazy toddlers.) to provide breastmilk for three babies. I don’t acknowledge that enough, and my lack of acknowledgement isn’t good for me or for my readers. I’m not SuperMom. I’m not SuperBoobs. I have an oversupply thanks to PCOS, but that oversupply has been kept up with diligent pumping, eating, drinking, breast compressions, herbal supplements (a recent addition, though I’m not sure they’re doing anything – I may be producing my max already and just have some hungry babies), single-baby feeding, feeding with these two babies, feeding with those two babies (Callista & Co. are a better pair than Toby and Eleanor together), yada, yada, yada – short of prescription medications and dancing naked underneath a full moon while chanting, I’ve done it all.
I haven’t regretted one second of the last seven months.
Comments from the original entry are organized into four sections: resources, products, tips and encouragement. I’ve linked to specifically named items and quoted bits of comments. You may also want to check out the comments in their original context.
Resources
La Leche League: http://www.llli.org/
About’s breastfeeding page: http://breastfeeding.about.com/od/lactation/a/handling.htm
LLL’s milk storage guidelines: http://www.llli.org/faq/milkstorage.html
Kelly Mom: http://www.kellymom.com
http://www.breastfeedingmadesimple.com/
“So That’s What They’re For,” by Janet Tamaro
“The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers” by Dr. Jack Newman
“Breastfeeding Made Simple,” by Nancy Morbacher
“The Nursing Mother’s Companion,” by Kathleen Huggins
“The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding” (La Leche League’s book)
Products
My Brest Friend pillow (single and twin deluxe)
Gap nursing tanks
Destination Maternity nursing tanks
Bras from Destination maternity
Lansinoh nipple cream (Polysporin if you’re allergic to lanolin)
Double electric pump and extra parts
Big water cup or jug (Bubba jug or a Tervis Tumbler Big T drinking cup with the straw and lid)
Jack Newman’s All-Purpose Nipple Ointment (must get a prescription)
GNC fenugreek supplement capsules
An Itzbeen timer or application to track feeding durations and times
Washable/reusable breast pads (though disposable are less likely to harbor harmful bacteria)
Sleep bras
Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter
Bamboobies reusable nursing pads
Tips
“Go to a LLL meeting. Find one near you and go when pregnant. I thought it was silly too but man was it worth it.”
“Have a stack of clean pump parts ready for nightly pumping sessions.”
“Find a lactation consult. you can trust. … Abuse her.”
“… If you have a fast-flow and seem to choke and drown your baby, pump about 1-2 minutes BEFORE you feed–just on the side you plan on feeding on.” (This milk can be saved and combined with milk you may pump later. Definitely combine it, though. Foremilk on its own can make babies gassy.)
“Drink plenty of water and eat enough calories to keep up your supply. I personally am horrid at drinking water because I am so sick of it. You need to consume at LEAST 64oz per day. Try tossing in frozen berries for some variety. They act like ice-cubes and naturally flavor your water without sugars and sweeteners. A few squeezes from lemons, limes, oranges, grapefruits, etc. help add some oomph to a boring glass/bottle of water.”
“Get some pure lanolin before you have the baby. Apply it each and every time you nurse whether you think you need it or not. It doesn’t take long before you really need it and prevention is half the battle.”
“… Nurse on demand. As much as they want it. It’s good for your milk supply and it’s good practice. It sometimes takes a while for you two to figure out how to work together.”
“For me the number one thing I tell people is to feed on demand! (Single baby, I know it is different with multiples). Just because your baby ate an hour ago and wants to eat again does NOT mean they are not getting enough milk. They are getting bigger, need more milk and by feeding more they are increasing your supply.”
“Start pumping and freezing when you’re back up on your feet. There’s no such thing as too much frozen milk. At some point your milk supply does diminish. Having a huge surplus is totally worth it. Related: frozen milk can smell really bad. It’s not spoiled. Don’t throw it out!”
“Get a pump, even if you never plan to pump. A little hand-held one is cheap and a lifesaver when you’re so engorged the baby can’t even latch or for the first time the baby sleeps for more than 4 hours and you feel like dying.”
“I recommend expressing for the overnight feedings so that your partner can give a bottle. It’ll allow for them to bond and share in those quiet moments where Baby is eating and looking at you with total love. Plus it’ll allow you some extra and much-needed sleep.”
“Don’t be scared to use a nipple shield if you have to.”
“My warning – breastfeed hurts during the beginning, and for me it lasted 2 weeks. I mean really hurts, i used to pinch myself to feel pain somewhere else while she latched on. But after that 2 weeks it didn’t hurt at all.”
“Do not be lazy about missing a feeding/pump session this is how I would end up with clogged milk ducts.”
“I could go on and on, but the one trick that turned things around for us (after struggling for 5 weeks) was to line babies NOSE up with your nippe, not their mouth! Them, when they open wide and you pull them in, you will automatically get that “up and over” technique desired to get the majority of the upper side of the areola in their mouth. By lining up their mouth with your nipple and pulling them straight towards you, you are more likely to just get the nippe, and not the areola.”
“The one thing I wished I had known more about was the warning signs of Mastisis. It happens when a clogged milk duct isn’t worked out and infection sets in. Some of the symptoms are full body aches, vomiting, fever with sweating, followed by freezing chills. The infected breast will feel REALLY hot to the touch. It makes you think you have the flu, which is what I thought I had! Until I realized my breast was hurting really bad and the skin around the clogged duct was HOT AS FIRE. It is treated by medication (which doesn’t hurt the babies milk).”
“Figure out your “let down” early. Pay attention to the sensation, how long it takes, how patient your baby is. I thought mine was just a crummy nurser–she was tugging, kneading, and frustrated until one day I actually felt the tingling of a let down and realized my milk was taking several minutes to start flowing. Once I figured it out, I focused on my body and let down cues, and got it to start flowing much faster.”
“Engorgement will kick in after a few days. This sucks, but you can pump and nurse to establish a good supply early. Don’t waste that extra milk.”
“When you pump, go for at least 10 minutes. You might get another let down and empty your breasts even more.”
“If you’re trying to establish a good supply, nurse and pump as much as you can. It’s exhausting, but you’ll have extra in the freezer and a better supply in the end.”
“Cluster feeding WILL happen to you. It’s exhausting, too, but necessary to boost your supply.”
“I don’t wash or sterilize my pump parts between sessions. I pump about 3 times a day at work and I just use the same parts, un-washed, un-rinsed and un-wiped. My thinking is that if you can leave milk out in a room for 5-7 hours, then the milk on my pump parts should probably be okay for that amount of time too.”
“You need to start on the opposite side of the last feeding. I always wore a simple hair rubber band on the wrist of the side I needed to start on next. When you’re feeding round the clock, you won’t remember what from when. Simple and inexpensive reminder.”
“I’ve had a 10 lb baby, 7 lb baby and 4 lb baby. The smallest was the hardest to nurse because she was so small. The lactation nurse described it as a “sandwhich” but she took my breast squished it like a sandwich and shoved it in. Kid took right off.”
“Beware of yeast and blocked ducts…it happened 3x to me. BF-ing is work. There are a lot of nay sayers out there that will tell you to quit. But don’t it is the best thing for you and baby.”
“Water makes all the difference in milk output. Drink more than you want, and then have one more glass after that!”
Encouragement
“Breastfeeding is by far one of the most difficult things I have EVER done in my life, and nobody told me that it would A). Get much easier and B). That the never ending black hole of solitary and sleep deprivation would not last forever. In the whole scheme of things…it is such a short snippet in time…a time that looking back on…wish I would have savored more and slowed it down.”
“Treat breastmilk as liquid GOLD! This is something you need to make sure your husband and caregivers understand. This milk is tough to get – do NOT waste it or throw it away. Treat it with respect since you are doing so much work to get it.”
“If I could do it all over again, I would definitely take a class before baby’s arrival; I was completely unprepared, thinking that ‘oh, it’s so natural, it will be easy!’ It isn’t easy. It hurts – sometimes a lot (they’ll tell you that it won’t hurt if you’re doing it right. That’s a lie). But totally worth it if you can stick it out through the early stages.”
“Even after all this, remember that not being able to meet the baby’s needs doesn’t mean you failed. Supplementing with formula is okay – you’re doing what you have to in order to feed your child. There will come a point when you can’t meet the baby’s demand or she strikes or self-weans. It’s okay.”
“BF gets frustrating at times, especially if things don’t “click” right away. You can’t force a baby to BF – sometimes they have bad days (or weeks) too. … I realized the sooner I relaxed and followed her lead, the more likely she would be to nurse.”
“Trust yourself. Trust your baby. Don’t let anyone discourage you.”
“No, our bodies are different. Our boobs are different. Our babies are different.”
“Get over being modest, at least for the first little while. Let consultants, nurses, and expert mothers help.”
“I would have LOVED to have the knowledge that breastfeeding gets significantly easier after the 8-10 week mark. If I had that time frame in mind during my first attempts, the pain & frustration would have been much more bearable.”
“I wish people would tell you that it is going to be difficult at the beginning, but to stick with it and it does get easier!’
“It wasn’t always easy, but it was always worth it.”
“Stay off Google for every little thing. It’s good to find help/resources/other moms to feel supported when things get rough, but don’t read or believe EVERYTHING out there. There’s so much conflicting information. It just confused and frightened me. Your baby is unique and there’s nothing wrong with her just because she’s doing something a little different.”
“Most important: if you ever supplement, or if you decide breastfeeding isn’t for you, DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT. You’re doing your best to feed your baby, no matter the method.”
“I did tons of research before hand, but I didn’t fully comprehend how HARD breastfeeding really was going to be. And we’ve had relatively few problems. It’s just difficult at first. It hurts. It hurts BAD. But it gets so much easier, and I’m glad I stuck it out. The 2nd week I cried through every feeding. But by 6 weeks it was a piece of cake. I’m still going strong at 10+ months and now I’m so so so glad I didn’t quit when it was tough and I wanted to.”
“Lastly I would just say ignore all of the negative opinions you hear. I have no idea why, but it seemed like EVERYONE was telling me about how I was going to fail and that was hard to hear those early weeks. I almost quit, but thankfully my husband was there to support me and reminded me about how much I wanted to do it and made me feel strong enough. The comments never end, though. First it was that I would never make it two weeks, then that there’s no way I would survive the 6 week growth spurt, then they said I would quit the second he got teeth. Now I just get a lot of ‘you’re STILL breastfeeding?’ comments and side-eyes. But I learned a long time ago to just ignore it.”
“There are a lot of bad days- battery gives out in your pump, infections, leaving out 20oz of milk overnight on the counter, the list goes on. But all the bad things end quick and you just have to keep powering through.”
“Arm yourself with a few important facts (like that the AAP recommends exclusive breastfeeding until 6 months, or the WHO recommends breastfeeding for at least 2 year) so you have something to defend yourself with when your mother, grandmother, in-laws, friends, or whoever start to make snide comments about you breastfeeding. And if no one in your life is making unsupportive comments about breastfeeding, then count yourself very lucky!”
“I felt so violated after my son was born with nurses and lactation consultants grabbing and squeezing my boobs and watching me nurse. It was horrible. I didn’t feel at ease until I got home and even then I thought he wasn’t eating enough or latching correctly. At about 6 weeks I was feeling comfortable with nursing, but it took until 12 weeks to finally feel like a pro.”
