90/365: With a little help from my friends

My wonderful friend Rema sent me this cute, thoughtful note to cheer me on while I battle infertility.

*****

I’m writing this on a whim without taking time to ask permission for posting pictures of my friends, so you’ll have to enjoy this through my words alone.

My friends. They are AWESOME. I’m not sure Rob and I would have survived to this point without my friends. I question Rob’s survival because I might have knifed him in a psychotic rage (not *at* him, but he’d probably be a bystander-victim) if I didn’t have my friends to talk me down, make me smile, lift me up and, in general, keep me sane.

They understand when I e-mail them something that looks like this:

A#$%^&*)(&^%$%^%$^&5^&#@$%^&*^()_)*

And, amazingly, they can translate that call for help and send back an always-appropriate response.

They send me sweet cards telling me how unfair things are and how proud they are of me.

They give the best squishy hugs, both in person and over the Internet.

They ask questions when they don’t understand part of my treatment – they actually care and want to know details and don’t just say, “Good luck!”

They respect my bonkers feelings, whether it be obsessing over any phantom symptom I can conjure up or staying far, far, far from the subject.

The key there, though, is they respect me. They respect my sometimes need for distance, but they also recognize my need for being checked up on. They don’t all understand what I’m going through, but they respect that my feelings are valid and real and are just as much a part of me as my smart-ass attitude and my silliness.

Most important to me right now is that my awesome friends completely understand that part of my struggle is being a good friend back to them. Being a good friend is hard, and it’s especially hard when you live with something that requires a selfish amount of attention.

I feared infertility would cost me some friendships along the way, but so far, with the majority of my friendships, it has only made them stronger.

Friends, if you’re reading this, thank you so much for always standing by me and letting me be a piss-poor, needy friend sometimes. Thank you for filling my life with laughter and happiness and underlining it with a soft cushion for when I fall. Thank you for not giving up on me and for being the best cheerleaders I could ever ask for. You’re my personal Cheerios (Glee!), and even Sue Silvester would have a hard time finding things about which to bark at you.

I promise I’ll someday soon return to being a less selfish friend. Until then, I’ll keep adding to my stack of IOUs.

(pee ess: Rocky got to the card & nommed off one of the scalloped pretties. jerk!)