Determined

I gave birth to triplets. I survived 10 weeks of NICU life with three babies at once. I’ve breastfed three preemies for more than two years. Three things I had no idea how to accomplish, and I somehow did it. I didn’t know what to do, but I knew I needed to do my best despite my fears and doubts, and my best paid off.

I wish I could rewind my life 15 years and learn that lesson at an earlier age. Your best is enough, and it’s worth trying for.

I can’t call myself a Type A or Type B person, but I classically don’t follow through with something unless it’s obvious I’m going to succeed. If I’ve’ struggled, I quit. I wrote it off as my time was better spent on things I did well.

That seems so silly and wasteful now. If I’d only known then, I wonder what else I would have accomplished.

I’m trying to run again, Attempt Who Knows What – something I’ve tried to do since team sports entered extracurriculars in grade school. I never joined a team because I couldn’t run without knee pain. It took years, but I finally spent time in physical therapy and learned ways to work around the pain – stretches, strengthening, proper footwear, etc. Still, the struggling frustrated me to the point of quitting.

I don’t care anymore about struggling. Struggles are nothing more than bumps in the road. I can handle bumps. They’re annoying, and the downright offend me at times, but they’re bumps – not walls.

My knees screamed in protest for nearly a week, from week 2 into week 3 of my Couch to 5K training program (I’m not training for a 5K, per se, but it’s a manageable program that will work me up to a pretty decent distance for regular fitness running). I bought new shoes, I dusted off my old PT exercises, I focused more on stretching, and I realized that requiring ice for my pain doesn’t mean I’m injured – it just means I’m recovering.

With the help of Runtastic Pro and C25K Free on my iPhone, a favorite book on audio and a number of cheerleaders (sometimes it pays to be the fat kid among a group of runner friends), I’m doing this. I’m determined.